Customer Story - “From pain to performance”
Jonna - Years of chronic pain
“I’m a 28- year old Swedish jetski racer. Jetski is a small motorsport that I was born into. My father used to race in the 90’s and before that my grand father raced powerboats, so motorsports has always been part of the family. I’ve raced since I was 10 years old and spent most of my life working on achieving my goals in this sport. I was quite successful at a young age, won several championships in both Sweden and Nordic. A few years later when I was 17 I started to race the world championship tour with the fastest ladies in the world.
In 2017 I had a bad crash and broke my right upper arm. The fracture was quite severe and I also got a nerve damage which paralyzed my hand for a few months. This was my first ever injury and I wish I knew at the time how trauma affects the body. The whole experience of the accident was very traumatic actually and my future as a jetski racer was quite uncertain since we didn’t know how well I would recover from the nerve damage. I met a few different doctors and the first one told me he didn’t think I would ever race again which made me really upset. I went to another doctor who seemed much more hopeful but still couldn’t promise me anything. Jetski was my biggest passion so just the thought of never racing again was terrifying.
This uncertainty about my recovery was hard and I eventually made a decision for myself that I would be back racing, whatever it takes. I wanted to prove the doctors who doubted me wrong. Now this is where my mental strength started to grow but also where my body started to suffer. This was a big trauma that I didn’t treat in a good way, or in any way at all actually. I just pushed my emotions and pain aside and started to work towards my goal. And actually just 6 months later I was back racing again. In hindsight it was too early and I pushed myself way too hard but at the time it felt right. Coming back from this difficult time and seeing what I could do when I set my mind into it was a confidence boost and I started to work towards my next goal, getting my first podium. Once I reached that I started working towards my first race win. Two years after my accident I got my first race win and I then decided I wanted to become a world champion. So this was now my big goal.
After my accident I got issues with my right shoulder, it had very poor stability and lack of mobility which made movements above my head painful and hard. Eventually I started to have left hip and back pain too. This is something that I over the years tried pretty much everything to get rid of but without success. Lots of “rehab exercises”, stretching, massage, doctors and chiropractor visits each week while the pain just kept getting worse. I was very hard on myself though and continued to push towards my goal despite my issues and pain. And it did pay off, In 2021 I reached my goal and became the world champion. It was my best season ever but also one of the hardest as it had gotten to the point where my body was screaming in all kinds of ways to stop. Everything was hurting and my whole left side felt numb. I could not even feel my left hamstring or glute, they were completely disconnected and my left and right side of my body felt completely different. What I didn’t realize at this moment was that my body had gotten into a compensating movement pattern since my accident and it just got worse with time.
Once I reached my big goal my body crashed. I had pain everywhere and could barely go to work after race weekends because of the pain. I also started having this strange muscle burn/ pain in the left side of my body. At first it was just around my left shoulder which had also started to hurt so I thought it was because of that but eventually it started to move down towards my hip and leg as well. Despite all of this I kept going for another season, not knowing how to slow down. At the end of that season I did realize this was no longer working so I decided to take a little break and work on my body for a few months. I thought just a couple of basic rehab exercises and a change of my training program would do it. Once I actually for the first time slowed down and listened to my body I crashed mentally too. At this time I’ve had this left side muscle burn/pain for about a year and it was now in my whole left side, even my face. It wasn’t too painful, it was more a very strong feeling of muscle burn that was really messing with my head. I could not think of anything else. When it started in my face I got panic about being in my own body and could hardly be around people. I felt stuck and just wanted to get out of this uncomfortable body.
This caused some big anxiety issues as well and it got to the point where I some days couldn’t leave my house. I got very sensitive to stress and noises as well and I did no longer recognize this person I had become. I felt so lost.
I had started to understand that my body was in some sort of compensating movement pattern but with the left side muscle burn, shoulder, hip and back pain as well it all got a bit too overwhelming and I didn’t know what to do. I’ve lost count of how many doctors, physios, chiropractors and experts I’ve been to asking for help but nobody being able to understand all of this. For a year I tried pretty much everything without luck. I didn’t do any kind of training during this year as I was so scared of my pain, it had taken over my life. One day I found Ansku on instagram and I could relate to a lot of the things she talked about. She had a different view on pain and movement than any of the “experts” I had met before. I contacted her and saw this as my “last attempt” of trying to solve my pain. If this didn’t work there was really nothing left. Our first conversation was such a relief, she understood me and my pain and how I got here. First time I ever heard someone say that. We started working together and the first couple of months was quite hard, I was still so uncomfortable in my own body and would panic over basic movements and how the pain felt while doing it. It was really hard for my nervous system to calm down. But after 6 months it got easier and I started to feel a bit more calm and free. Ansku also taught me not to have too high expectations of myself and my body, and that I don’t always have to be chasing certain results. Something I at first didn’t know how to live without.
After working with Ansku for 1,5 years I could this summer get back to racing again after 2,5 years off. But this time with a different mindset and goal. I was not pushing to win races and I had made a promise to myself that I would never ignore my body and health again. Focus was just about having fun and listen to my body. Jetski racing is a very physical sport. We reach maximum heart rate and push our bodies very hard. It takes a lot of hard work and training to perform, something that I had not put any focus on for a long time. During my work with ansku I did some light strength training and running besides the mobility work but nothing that would really increase my performance, it was more about learning to move my body again and let go of the fear. I decided to go to Belgium where I would do my first international race in over 2,5 years. I had zero expectations as I had been away from racing and training for such a long time but I just wanted to enjoy the fact that I could race again. I managed to win this race and nobody was more surprised than me. At first I did not understand how I was able to perform being so “out of shape”. I had not trained for this at all and I know how hard my competitors had worked to be at their best. After this weekend I really understood the power of the work me and Ansku had done. How strong a body that can breathe and move properly really is.
This journey has definitely been one of my biggest challenges in life and I definitely didn’t know what I was getting into at first. It is hard to comprehend something you have never experienced before and it took me a long time before I started to actually understand what this is all about and how the mind and body works together. Many times I would find myself back in the state I was before rushing and pushing myself to get the results I wanted instead of actually listening to my body and trust it. But all those “setbacks” slowly gave me more understanding for my body and how my mind works and im still learning: Today I have a whole new perspective on life and this calm and freedom I feel in my body is an amazing and empowering feeling. I no longer feel this “rush” to get to the next thing and I can actually just live in the moment. My breathing and daily exercises helps my nervous system stay calm and it is something I prioritize every day to reset and feel ready for a new day. It feels like I have gotten my life back and can truly live again, but in a healthier and more understanding way for myself. I understand my body’s signals and know when it’s time to slow down, and how to slow down.
The pain I’ve had in my back, hip and shoulders is completely gone, and my left side is no longer feeling numb. I am still dealing with my left side muscle burn at times but this becomes better each day and I believe with time once my body is ready it will let go of this as well. My work with Ansku will continue for some more time until I feel ready to continue on my own. This year I will also be back racing the world championship again after 3 years absence. For a long time I thought I could never race again so just this feels like a huge win. No pressure to get results but instead have fun and continue this journey I’m already on, enjoying the process!”
- Jonna
